"Shit just got real"

I seem to be having a serious case of deja vu... Repeatedly.  For months now, time and time again I have stopped in my tracks, frozen.  For that moment, I have stood there in sheer terror quietly thinking to myself - "Shit just got real".

I always thought that when the time finally came for us to make our move to the Caribbean, it would be so easy.  Because I have such malice for Connecticut, I thought that when the time came there would literally be smoke rolling off my tires and this state that I have detested for ten years would be nothing more than a fading landscape in my rear-view mirror.  Wow, was I ever wrong.  No surprise there really, I tend to be very talented at being wrong.

The truth of the matter is that making the decision to pursue our dreams was and is terrifying.  We are leaving a known with financial security to venture into something entirely new with an uncertain outcome.  We are leaving careers that we have built and maintained to try something new that we might not be successful at.  Maybe I just don't have the balls, but for me it was far harder than I ever imagined.  I have to keep reminding myself that we are also leaving a place that was literally killing us.  We are leaving a place where although we had good careers and income, we lacked anything vaguely resembling a life.  I have to keep remembering we are getting the chance of a lifetime to follow our dreams and create a new life.

After weighing all the pros and cons, eventually a hard decision has to be made which can not be reversed.  It's a lot like jumping into the deep end of a cold pool.  You want to swim, you know you can swim, but that water is cold.  You just left the diving board and there is literally no turning back.  That's where we are right now - in limbo.  We are far from the diving board, hanging in mid-air.  We have been looking forward to the swim ahead for a long time, but we are terrified of hitting that cold water for the first time.  The unknown is unnerving.  "Shit just got real".

When I met with my boss, whom I have known and highly respected for ten years now, and explained what we intended to with a resignation, "Shit just got real".  When we rented a UHaul trailer and pulled a load of "stuff" to our summer house, "Shit just got real".  The day we officially closed on, and became owners of a 50 foot yacht, "Shit just got real".  Our house was listed on the market, and a few showings later we were signing offers and contracts, "Shit just got real".

And now, as I sit here writing this, I'm surrounded by boxes marked "Ship to boat", "Summer house", etc.  We have spent our weekend sorting through all our life possessions, and preparing for an estate sale of the remaining contents of our house, furniture, etc.  "Shit just got real".  This is really happening.  We are hanging in the air off of the diving board, with an inevitable big splash coming our way.  Thank goodness the water in the Caribbean is warm.

Step 7: Throw out all the steps - It happened

Taken in April, contemplating how I would eventually make my escape

I have said many times on this blog, the difference between a dream and reality is "simply" putting a plan in place and working towards it.  I have also said many times here, that while I had a plan, it was missing a lot of pieces.  My whole thought since I stood on the bow of a boat in the Caribbean and said "I'm going to do this", was to attack the pieces of the plan that I could do here and now.  I figured that if I worked on all the things within reach now, that eventually somehow the other missing pieces would eventually come to me.

It happened.

No seriously - It happened.  A seemingly single event, set off a chain reaction that could not, and would not be stopped.  I had optimistically pictured my plans coming to fruition (somehow) in a five to ten year time frame.  Forget that.  This is happening now.

Taxes.  That's what it was.  Taxes.  In 2014, I got literally clobbered with taxes.  That simple fact started a thought process and a conversation with a friend who is a charter boat captain.  That conversation grew during a trip to our beloved St. John, where our friend came to meet us for dinner.  That dinner conversation grew into bigger plans.  Those bigger plans turned into a random phone call with yet another captain.  That random phone call turned into that captain reading our story on this blog.  The reading of our story here turned into a flurry of phone meetings and another trip down to the islands.  That trip down to the islands turned into an amazing opportunity, with some great people betting on a couple young and hungry dreamers.  Those great people betting on a couple hungry dreamers, turned into a complete plan - my plan with all the missing pieces finally filled in.

That amazing chain reaction of events couldn't be stopped.  It wouldn't be stopped.

Over the past years I have struggled with my state of existence.  I'm not "living" here, I simply exist.  I get to live only during short periods of vacation and weekends that I can escape Connecticut.  Existing here is nothing more than being in a rat race of continuous bumper to bumper traffic, inching ahead - there's simply not enough time for anything else.  Sure, I have a great job and that certainly has allowed for a lot of things, but I'm not living.  I'm not experiencing life.

At the same time, 2014 has taken so many loved ones away, far before their time.  I watched a great friend take his last breath.  I'm not sure I'll ever be the same after that.  I came to the hard realization that life is short, and I'm not living.  It happened - all the pieces of a real plan to start anew were presented before me, and I'm not letting it pass.

It happened - We're making our great island escape aboard a 50 foot yacht.

Step 1: Inception of a plan

Magewind moored in the Bight,
Norman Island BVI

A desired goal is nothing without a plan for execution.  Think about it.  Let's say you want to build your dream home.  Hammer, nails, saws, and wood don't simply start flying around in a flurry of construction.  Your home starts on the desk of an architect, who carefully and painstakingly devises drawings and specifications for your future personal castle.  Likewise, even the most ingenious plans lay completely useless unless a home owner puts them into play by supplying monetary resources and a crew to handle the labor.

And plans, life plans or plans to build a home, are not one dimensional.  They are complex, with lots of moving parts all needing to merge together towards the common goal in harmony.  Seldom does a plan go executed smoothly, nor is it common for a plan to flow in a linear fashion.  As the pieces come together, there are hangups and setbacks.  Research and dedication of resources are committed in iterations until all pieces of the plan have been managed and massaged into that one uniform end goal.  If executed correctly and successfully to completion, the final product of all the hard is a close version of the original proposition.

Currently, we are slightly past the inception of a plan.  We drew a line in the sand and started formulating a loose approach for a new life, a new chapter.  This first important step of declaring a plan and starting to determine the required pieces usually requires some sort of stimuli.  At some moment in time, something is required to set a new direction in motion.  For us, there were a few things.  We have always had the desire to make some sort of life in the Caribbean - eventually.  We initially pictured this as a plan for retirement.  As we traveled more and sailed more, a life on the water began to attract our interest.  Add in the stress and lack of life quality in Connecticut, and our thoughts of a move at retirement started getting pushed forward to an escape from misery.

Steven Ulrich and Debora Ruffe

Next, a plan needs a catalyst - something to spur an idea to life.  Enter Steven Ulrich and Debora Ruffe, owners and operators of "Magewind", a 46 foot catamaran sailing yacht which Sharon and I chartered last fall in the Virgin Islands.  If there ever was a catalyst for change, this was it.  Steven and Debora are charming and doting, and shower their guests with a luxury vacation for which life lasting memories are surely to be created.  Well worth the price of admission to say the least.  But above and beyond being amazing charter hosts, they exude energy and inspire positive thought.  During our time aboard sharing fabulous food, cocktails, and stories, Steven and Debora offered a new point of view and encouraged us to question ourselves and our situation.  While we had been meandering in a Caribbean direction for a few years, this was the spark that ignited a fire and made us look at our loosely gathered ideas as more of a plan, and less of a dream.

Group shot aboard Magewind before saying goodbye

Although at the time we didn't have all the pieces to a plan (and we still don't), it was clear that if we couldn't confidently sail, then there was no future in the plan at all.  Obviously, this is the first and foremost step we needed to take.  If we were going to be serious, it would be required that we commit some time and resources towards exploring our new found direction.  At first it was decided that I would learn to sail.  Quickly I realized this was a half-baked solution.  To be realistic we're talking about living aboard a 20-30,000 pound sailing vessel, on the ocean.  We're not talking about ski boats and lakes here.  The only probable solution was for us both to learn, and both gain confidence in our ability to live at sea.  Operating a boat of this magnitude is mostly a team effort, and add to that the possibility of one of us getting hurt at sea...  Both of us would surely need to get trained.

So this is where we would start.  Our little exploration into our possible future would require quite a bit of work in studying, a week's worth of vacation time for the actual school, and some monetary resources to pay for it all.  Worst case, we might fail in which case we would incur the loss of committed resources.  Second worst case, maybe after going to school we might decide we didn't want to live aboard.  All in all, not bad really - we would still learn to sail yachts which could be used for future sailing charter vacations.

The beginnings of a plan had hatched...

Island Characters: Michael Beans

"Happy Arrrrrr" with Michael Beans aboard S/V Antiquity
in Spanish Town, Virgin Gorda

Michael Beans - aka. Michael Gardner...  A trip to the British Virgin Islands is really not complete without singing along with the modern day pirate that is Micheal "Beans".  Years ago while reading and researching the Virgin Islands I came across writings and videos of Michael Beans and his "Happy Arrrrrr" show.  An eclectic cross of a folk singer, a free spirit, a comedian, and sailor extraordinaire, "Beans" is definitely worth seeking out.

Born and raised in Michigan, Beans left stateside living for a life at sea in the tantalizing warmth of the Caribbean.  His stories of treasure hunting, and his life experiences in the islands are entertainment in themselves.  His life aboard his first boat "Esperanza" landed him in Marina Cay as a one-man band, playing for yachtsman.  The only tales taller than the pirate lore he sings of, are the tales of his "Happy Arrrr" show which has now grown and moved to Leverick Bay in Virgin Gorda's north sound.

While his show is a lot of fun, we were lucky enough to spend some time with him outside of his storied act.  In 2011 while chartering aboard S/V Antiquity, I had asked Capt. David Decuir about Beans.  As it would turn out, our charter was a bit early in the season and his act had not yet started.  To our surprise, upon returning to Antiquity after exploring the Baths, Capt. Decuir informed us that he had invited Beans to join us aboard for cocktails and snacks.

There we were, sitting in the cockpit of Antiquity, docked in the marina at Spanish Town.  We were enjoying "Tickity Punches" (David's own rum punch cocktail) and being regaled with stories of Beans' travels as the sun sank into the sea.  Before leaving, Beans invited us to visit him the following morning in his new home aboard his cement boat "Mangele" which at the time was in the boat yard on stands - or on the hard.

Beans' boat "Mangele" on the hard in Spanish Town

After breakfast aboard Antiquity, we decided to take Beans up on his offer.  The only thing bigger than Beans' personality would be his boat.  Mangele is a 47 foot feral cement boat, donned with dual masts and a black and yellow paint scheme which can only be described as a pirate ship.  Like Beans himself, Mangele looks as if the sea and it's stories have shaped and molded it over time.  As we approached, a head (toilet) came flying over the rail and smashed on the ground in front of us.  These are things you simply can't make up.  Beans was working diligently on a repair list for his boat when we arrived, and apparently a new toilet was the first task at hand.  After being invited aboard, we climbed up a shaky aluminum ladder to be greeted with a full tour of Mangele's venerable topsides and then down below.  After more stories and some treasure show-and-tell, we left Beans and Mangele as we headed back to Antiquity to set sail for Jost Van Dyke.

Spending time with Beans was definitely a highlight of our 2011 BVI vacation.  Check out his website at Beans Music.  Also, while on his website check out his foundation which helps Haiti.

Slowly adding content...

Grilling with a view in Jost Van Dyke

So as I slowly add content to this first attempt blog....  One question I often get is - "What is it like during a sailing charter?"  Often, people also view us as "being stuck" aboard a boat with nothing to do.  Somehow, it is assumed that we are prisoners of the boat, with nothing but cool ocean around us.  Um...  Not so much.  Chartering a boat for a week is something I can hardly describe in words.  It's a little easier with pictures.

Enjoying our "own" beach aboard S/V Magewind in Virgin Gorda

Instead of those crowded beaches, how about a pristine beach all to yourself with no one else in sight?  You got it.  How about gourmet meals cooked to your preference?  You got it.  How about telling the captain "You know what, I'd like to stay here a while longer."  

Sure, why not?  Beach bars without the crazy hotel crowd?  You got it.  Another cocktail served to you while you swim in crystal blue water, or lazily float around the yacht?  Absolutely.

Capt. Steven Ulrich serving Bloody Mary's and Coffee to us while we  enjoy the water

Oh - you want to explore towns, see the sights, checkout that amazing scenic overlook?  Do it!

These are all things that will be coming to this blog as time allows.  Chartering a sailboat in the Caribbean is something that one never forgets.