Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Flat Tire

I've come to the conclusion that I don't like who I am anymore. Maybe that's too harsh a conclusion. Maybe it's more appropriate to say I don't like what I have become. I came to this realization about a week ago. I was engrossed in the misery of a typical two hour commute home from work in Connecticut, when I came across a car on the shoulder of I-95 north. It was about 85 degrees and humid. There on the side of the road was a sedan with a flat tire. The owner was digging in the trunk for tools. It was painfully obvious he was unfamiliar with the process of changing the tire for which he was about to attempt. Numbly, I drove by.

I drove by.  Traffic was moving less than 5 miles per hour, and as usual, was backed up for over 20 miles. I had all the time in the world to pull over, and I drove by. About fifteen minutes and maybe a mile down the road, I realized what I had done. I could have pulled over, changed this guy's tire for him, and both of us would have been on our way. Instead I drove by. And so did the thousands of other numb, self-important commuters sharing three lanes of I-95 misery with me. We all did it.  We all left this guy and his flat tire, there on the side of the road to struggle on his own. Pathetic. I was thoroughly disgusted for what I had done.

Ten years ago, before I had ever stepped foot in Connecticut, this would have never happened. In the country, we help each other out. This is how we are raised. This is what we come to know as normal. It's a community in which common decency towards others and a willingness to help is indoctrinated. I'm ashamed for what I have allowed this toxic environment to do to me - for what I have become.

In the boating world, it's a well known fact that boaters help boaters. If a boat is in jeopardy, if it's crew needs assistance, another boater will come to aid. It's a cardinal rule at sea that if you are able to lend assistance to another boater in distress, it is your moral duty to do so. Every book I have ever read about cruising life and living aboard has always mentioned the help one can find in other boaters within an anchorage. Authors encourage their readers to proceed into the unknown, to find calm in knowing there are plenty of other boaters ready to lend a hand.

 It's this sense of community and civility that is missing from urban environments. It's this common respect and consideration for fellow man that is eroding from society, and is seemingly extinct from urban living. While I fear failing at making a new life aboard my boat in the islands, I welcome finding a sense of community and simple common consideration which is lacking in my current situation.

So if I ever spot you on the horizon off my bow struggling with a "flat tire", no worries - I'll gladly do what I can.

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